ik zoek een nieuwe baan

don't know how many time i've said this things.. but today im really determined to zoek een nieuwe baan..

im greatful with what i have got up 'till this moment, such a lovely surroundings, great money, nice people, lots of extra times, free fast speed internet connections, paid phone bills and... nothing to do..

it never occures in my mind that i'll be spending almost 2 years in this place. but .. this july i will be celebrating 2 years anniversary for my being here.. should i be happy?? hmmm not really...
i felt like i was wasting this two years of my time ... not living in my dream.. but in other hand, i've accomplished some material possessions, which i'm not pretty proud of it... cuz still there's a HUGE hole inside... it's like i've loosing myself..

i know it's never too late to pursue my dreams.. but, the question is.. when can i let go the grip ? cuz.. i need to give some assurance to my love ones..cuz every decision i make surely will impact them.. and i couldn't bear that right now...

GOD .. hulp

take the lead

gw nomat dadakan dg temen2 "rumah-an" gw. bener2 gak terencana dg baik, dadakan abis, tapi menyenangkan bow at the end. gw dpt tebengan dadakan ke citos.. eddy & ega bisa benerin pompa air yg rusak di rumahnya dlm waktu yg singkat.. dan demas walopun sempet agak2 "tidak memiliki kesepahaman yg sama dg sopir angkot" ... managed to arrived at citos on time euy... *fiyuh*

ritual kebingungan yang dialami kalo nonton rame2 : menentukan judul film yang "nyaman" utk ditonton rame2. dan kembali posisi awal pemilihan judul dilakukan : berdiri memandangi poster2 film yg ada dipajang.

gw : pengen banget nonton munich - gpp kalo musti sendirian --- pilihan kedua: take the lead utk rame2.. tapi teuteuph hatiku meneriakkan : MUNICH...
demas : lebih prefer ice age2 .. karena : lucuuu
ega : anything accept munich & ice age2 (karena katanya dia & eddy bakal ngantuk nonton film2 itu)
eddy : lebih memilih film serem (cry wolf or something - i forgot) --> yg langsung ditolak mentah2 ama gw .. *i hate horor movies* --- gw sangat menghargai waktu tidur nyenyakkuw tanpa mimpi aneh gara2 film horor ya pliss..

walhasil kita jadinya nonton : TAKE THE LEAD.. dan pilihan yg tepat.. cuz filmnya SEGERR... LUCU & MENGHIBUR.. dan .... meminjam istilahnya demas : gw jadi tahu knapa Antonio Banderas dibilang SEKSEH.... sluuurphh *nyummiieee*

perfect score

the movie was about 6 highschool kids trapped in desperate time that requires desperate measures : conspired to steal the SAT (Scholastic Aptitute Test a.k.a Suck Ass Test - a standarised test to put numbers on their dreams and goals) answer sheets.

a bit unrealistic,yet has a fresh-not boring dialogues, and i admired the originalities of the characters shown. they were the people that know what they want, how the'll get it, really determined people who was just being themselves trying so very hard to achieve the standarized bar set.

in its own way, perfect score thaught me that why do often people giving a label for others that different and impossing a standarized values etc. just to have the same thought? why do sometimes we found us so hard to accept others that different? and in between we might have ruin somebody's dreams & goals? while God Himself didnt create us as the same one another, He created us so unique, one of a kind, limited edition.

(",)

*gundahgulana*

i feel like i'm trapped in my routinities. dunno why ... i felt like im secluded from others. i was so occupied with my own target, goals, ambition, etc-etc, that makes me mum. when i tried to remembering what i've done the past days, i come to this conclusion : too much self indulgement and selfish mode on....

i miss my friends

hix

life is about asking questions, not getting the answers

tiba-tiba

by looking specified body gesture made by others, it clicks some part of your brain to try to create some sort of understanding towards what that was. does it have some
uncovered-waiting-to-revealed meaning? or just this simple relects that the person made.

hmmm

words play

sometimes we said the things we do not want to said to the people whom we care so much. by the time the words already spoken, that some sort of guit immediately controls your mind. create an ackward situation especially for the people involves for quite some time. that kind of situation in its own way, limitate your act of doing in almost every aspect of your life. feels like you cannot fully maximise the time,works and efforts you've poured, just b'coz that one unpleasant moment.

the best and one and only solution is to be truthful and honest. swollen up your pride inside, and brave haerted to
say sorry even though the corner of your "logical" brain said i am right. and the most important thing is to took full control of your body & soul. subdue your temper, emotion, and try to speak in controllable speed. not to said all things in one time. better of to slow to speak rather than swift to anger they said.

(",)

aarrggggggggggghhhhhhhh

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have my own plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gibolan

tiba-tiba koq khangen berat sama kampus yaw?

walhasil dari tadi bolak-balik ngeliatin foto2 jadul sama anak2 campuzers.
jadi inget masa2 seruw :

waktu di kansas & takor, hari wajib nongkrong : sabtuh
ritual dimulai dengan mengelilingi semua counter2 penjual makanan dan minuman, biasanya 2 kali putaran, utk memastikan jenis makanan yang ingin dikonsumsi. setelah itu berkumpul ngeriung di meja kebangsaan (di kansas : meja bunder deket tukang milo, di takor : meja panjang deket tukang pecel ayam)
minuman favorit : ES TEH MANIS..... murmer menyegarkan HAR HAR HAR

saat2 ngantri fotokopi di gazebo,
awal2nya masiy blum tau trik ngantri fotokopi, walhasil menunggu dengan lamaaaaa....
namun, seiring berjalannya waktu , dah mulai bisa ngakalin waktu fotokopi... segera setelah dosen menyerahkan kertas wasiat itu, mengirim seorang utusan ke gazeb utk memfotokopinya. kalo materinya agak lebih tebal, diserahkan ke ketua kelas, tinggal diambil minggu depannya dengan penggantian uang fotokopi pastinyah...

berburu diktat di penjara,
sambil menitipkan master fotokopi dari dosen2 tercintah itu, ngubek-ngubek tumpukan materi perkuliahan anak2 jurusan lain. kalo lagi rajin & jatah uang fotokopi masiy ada (paling gak masiy ada sisa utk beli somay ayam), difotokopilah diktat2 itu juga.... paling gak kalo gak dibaca, lumayan , buat kertas catatan.. (?!?)

konsumsi di gazebo
biasanya dilakukan saat baru tiba di kampus (kalo gak telat)... kalo telat masiy teteup koq berenti dulu ngisi perut (kecuali mata kuliahnya dosen2 killer gak jelas). tapi tenang.. selama perkuliahan kalo tiba2 perut kontraksi menagih makanan, keluar aja dari kelas, pesen makanan either di takor (kalo masiy ada, biasanya siy dah sisa-sisa penghabisan), atawa nongkrong aja di gazebo, menikmati cheese burger / somay ayam / bakso... ato kalo lagi males makan makanan berat, bisa beli makaroni pedas juga loh ... dengan minuman pendamping : teh botollll / tekita/ fruitea (semua jenis teh-teh-an dey)..
oia, kala perkuliahan dah usai (haiya).. biasanya sambil nunggu tebengan / fotokopian, biasanya ditemani sama : semangkok sekotengg.... hmm hangaaatttt... lalu-lalu.. kalo sabtu, biasanya makan harum maniss.... nyam nyamm... *jadi laper*

trus perjalanan di balut
perjalanan di balut dilakukan kalo lagi sedang krisis "tebengan" (oknum yg ditebengi tidak masuk / tidak bawa mobil). biasa dilakukan bersama-sama, sambil membahas kejadian2 gak penting selama perkuliahan. kalo lagi pinter, biasanya siy ngebahas materi perkuliahan (namun jarang sekali dilakukan)... OIA,... topik yg paling seruw dibicarakan adalah H3!!!! whuahahahaaa..
tapi, kudu hati2 kalo lagi mencurahkan kebetean thdp dosen, terutama kalo dihadiri oleh jeung tina.. entah kenapa cewe' yg satu ini punya semacam kutukan "tidak-boleh-ngomongin-dosen-pake-nama-asli" karena, setiap kali deise lagi ngebahas ttg salah satu dosen... tiba-tiba.. tuh dosen POP-UP aja di deket kita... SPOOOKIEEE

dan perburuan cd bajakan serta pernak-pernik di barel...
biasanya dilakukan sabtu siang, sambil berjalan ke kost-an temen, sambil nyari fotokopi, atawa cuma stopped by beli jus jambu etc. secara sepanjang jalan penuh banget dengan kios-kios pernak-pernik yg lucu dan menggoda utk dibeli, membuat perjalanan yg normalnya bisa ditempuh 5 menit, bisa menghabiskan waktu yaa.... sekitar 30 menit-an lah...(biasanya juga siy tanpa pembelian... cuma liat-liat aja).. whuahahahahaa

huhuhuhuu.... jadi pengen ke depok lageeee...